by kindred | Feb 24, 2015 | Uncategorized
My daughter’s ninth birthday is just around the corner. My tiny brown haired beauty and I shared three sweet days together before she was placed in the loving arms of her adoptive family. There were many struggles throughout my pregnancy, but getting to know her soon-to-be family was the easiest part. I saw their profile as it was stacked among the many hopeful families wanting to adopt and I felt at peace. Their smiles displayed a joy that was so profound, it made me want to jump into the picture and hug them both. That’s how I knew they were to be my daughter’s family. I begged my counselor to schedule a meeting with them as soon as possible. With compassion, she explained to me that they did not want to meet any birth mother or be told that they had been chosen until the papers were signed and it was official. Furthermore, they had experienced several “adoption miscarriages” when in the end, the birth mothers chose to keep their baby. I pictured them with their newly decorated nursery sitting empty and I wanted to help fill it with life. In tears, I told her that I could not give my child to strangers. I had to meet the couple who would raise my child. She assured me she would do her best, but that if meeting an adoptive family was that important to me, I should begin to look for other prospective parents. Two days later she called to tell me the family had reached out to the agency at the very moment she was reaching out to them. They called to tell...
by kindred | Feb 17, 2015 | Uncategorized
There is an oft-repeated descriptor used to reflect the variance in adoptee experiences, that of a spectrum. On one end there are those adoptees where being an adoptee is at the core of their identity and prominently informs life decisions and the paths one follows. There is the other end as well, where the adoptee identity is a smaller piece that has little to no effect on one’s present life. And then there are all of those different points in between that are occupied by so many of us where it is less concrete. These points, anywhere on the spectrum, seem not to be static. Many of the adoptees I know flit in and out of being interested in their adoption or their biographical narrative. Inspired by a conversation or discouraged by an anecdote, they engage or disengage from whatever adoption related topic has been on their mind. Describing adoptees as a point on a spectrum is not meant to diminish the complexity of the adoptee experience but rather to help show how these moving points comprise such a vast range of experiences. As an adoptee on the more active end of the spectrum one of the things I have experienced is an expansion in the way in which I understand adoption-intercountry adoption, specifically. This has happened through conversations with adoptees who have experienced a tremendous amount of loss, some of which they are able to identify and some of which seems more intangible. It has also happened through talking to adoptive parents about what they feel like they could have differently in raising their adopted child or building...
by kindred | Feb 7, 2015 | Uncategorized
“Love and family is extendable not only to those with whom we share our DNA, but to whomever we choose to accept into our lives.” Family Has No Boundary is the inaugural event for The Kindred Foundation For Adoption. Buying a ticket will help raise funds that will provide worldwide aid to adoptees and their families. We cannot thank you enough for your support in this cause. Event Host Committee: Darren Criss Kristin Chenoweth Sarah Hyland Kevin McHale Emma Roberts John Stamos The evening will include a hosted Svedka bar, light tray pass, silent auction, a sneak peek at Twinsters and special guest performances! Dress Code: Cocktail Attire To learn more about the event and to purcahse tickets please...
by kindred | Feb 3, 2015 | Uncategorized
There are many stories we have experienced as adoptees. Some of our stories are filled with questions and unknowns. Most contain themes of bravery, heartbreak, turmoil, or joy. Common to all, our stories are about what we choose to carry forward. What I share here is a story of differences. I was adopted from Korea as a baby. Born in Seoul, my adoption process began when I was three months old. As a part of the adoption agreement, my mother spent one month in Korea. She returned carrying me, as well as anecdotes of life at the orphanage that became part of my origin story. We joined my adoptive father and brother, who had been adopted from Vietnam a couple of years before my arrival. We spent my earliest years on a ranch in rural western North Dakota. Peopled with Scandinavian and German descendants, North Dakota’s population is predominantly comprised of tall, blonde haired, blue eyed people. Being of Asian descent in such a small population meant my brother and I were often diversity personified. Though I never gave it a thought as a child, the fact that I was adopted was readily apparent to even the most casual observer, as it is with any child adopted into a family whose physical traits show no shared genetic lineage. I am one of those adoptees who have always known I was adopted, as my mother made sure it was in the telling of our family story. My origin story was talked about in tones like any birth story, though missing details like how much I weighed and the time I...
